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jenomark · 5 years ago

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Chapter 4

○Pairing: College!Mark x Reader (Female) ○Other Members/ Characters: Renjun. Brief appearances by Johnny & Jeno. ○Genre: fluff & a little angst ○Warnings: X ○Word count: 3,749

→Summary: A new school, no friends, and a boy who unexpectedly runs into you and changes everything.

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You yanked the seat belt, but it stopped mid-way. You tugged and tugged, your fingers slipping down the material, but it still wouldn’t budge. You gave it a last pull, and the metal part came off in your hands. Without missing a beat, Mark grabbed it from your hand, and threw it on the floor like it was a minor inconvenience.

“The car is a work in progress,” he said, putting on his glasses.

“Oh My God, I’m going to die in this car,” you said. “When they scrape my body off the highway, can you tell them I didn’t get into this vehicle voluntarily?”

Mark smiled to himself. You liked seeing him smile, how his face transformed instantly from it’s usual bewildered look. You found yourself smiling a little, too. You went to lean your head on the headrest as a sign that you were admitting defeat when you realized there wasn’t one.

“Mark Lee,” you whispered. “You are incurable.”

“You won’t die,” he said, starting the car. “I’ll take good care of you. Don’t you trust me?”

“No,” you said, flatly. “We should borrow my mom’s car, or better yet, let’s not go at all.”

Mark put his hands on the steering wheel. “Right. We’re going. “

You held onto your knees as he put the car in reverse, inching the car back to get out of the tight space he parked in. It sounded like his car was screaming as it moved, a cry of desperation for Mark to learn how to parallel park better. It took many tries for Mark to get out of the parking spot, and in that time, you flipped through your phone, looking at all of the Instagram posts Renjun had put up since the day before.

“He looks so happy.” you said.

Mark put the car into drive and took off down the street. The metal sound eventually got quieter the faster the car went, but the ride was bumpy.

Renjun never used his Instagram before college. Once, he had called it a waste of millennial space. He used to mock all of the pictures on your own profile, twisting his body into a pretzel to copy your poses and make a point you never quite understood. Post-high school Renjun loved updating social media. You went through his page and looked at the selfies, candids of his friend group, and an array of food pictures. You didn’t know why seeing all of the content made you feel so lonely, but the feeling itched your body until you scratched it with a rusty nail.

“He’s doing what any college boy would do,” Mark said. “Maybe a little dorkier than most.”

Mark looked over at the pictures before putting his eyes back on the road. You thought about asking him if the way you were feeling was normal, but you didn’t know him well enough to make up your mind whether or not you cared about his opinion.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“You’re staring at me. “

“Can I not look at you?”

“Not with that face.”

You pulled down his visor and looked at your reflection in the mirror. The girl staring back at you looked like you, but she didn’t feel like you. Among all of the weird feelings you were having, the sadness that occasionally crept in was front and center. No amount of school, of boys with rings, and weird roommates, could change the fact that, without Renjun, it was hard to cope.

“There isn’t anything wrong with my face.” you said, pushing the visor back up.

The drive was mostly quiet. Mark put on the stereo, but it was broken and he couldn’t change the station. You had to listen to yeehaw music the whole way, it’s staticky tunes making your head feel like it was going to explode.

“Why are you doing this?” you asked.

“Doing what?”

“Don’t play dumb.”

Mark sighed. “We’re friends.”

“We are not actually friends.”

“We are not not friends.”

Mark stopped at a red light. In that part of town, college kids roamed about in droves. Some walked with arms linked, the skin on their faces creased with laughter, and the others huddled books to their chest, heads down and hearts up. You couldn’t stop staring at them, wondering how they lived, and if they did, how deeply they were affected by their problems.

“Do you ever wish you had a normal family life?” you asked. “Like the ones you see on television? A perfect mother, a present father, the bratty younger sibling you hate but secretly would never change, the picturesque house in the suburbs, family Christmases, and I suppose, somewhere in the future, a family of your own. You would never know what a lack of love feels like, never know what it’s like to go without something. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“It sounds white,” Mark said. “Also, it doesn’t exist. The family Christmas you’re talking about? Your uncle is on the couch passed out after drinking five beers, your mother is cheating on your father with her Avon catalog, and you? You’re wondering how the other side lives. It’s all the same.”

“That sounds miserable.”

“That’s life.”

Mark pulled into a parking spot and turned the car off. You couldn’t get his words out of your head. They swam around, knocking into the sides of your brain and ricocheting off, settling into every dark place you had.

“Why are you doing this?” you asked, again.

Mark grabbed a baseball cap from his back seat and put it on his head. He fluffed the pieces of his hair that were sticking out of the sides. When he wasn’t satisfied, he turned the cap backwards, pulled down the visor to look at himself quickly, and put it back up.

“Honestly?” he asked. “I don’t know. It doesn’t have to mean anything. I was bored and had nothing else to do. And I like being around you.”

“You do?”

“No.” he said.

You rolled your eyes, making sure he could see. He looked at you like he wanted to scold you for it, but decided it wasn’t worth it. Instead, he took off his glasses and put them in the glove box. He opened his car door and got out, grabbing a backpack and slinging it on his back before he shut the door. When you tried doing the same, you realized there was a child lock on your door. Mark came around to your side and leaned against his car.

“You really should stop doing that,” he said. “It’s not very becoming.”

“I don’t care,” you said. “Let me out.”

“What will you give me if I let you out?”

“I’ll let you keep your life.”

Mark laughed, slapping his knee as he did. “You’re funny.”

You tried the door handle again, but it was still locked. Mark went around to the back door and pointed at the hoodie in the backseat.

“Put that on.” he said.

“I’m not wearing your hoodie.”

“You have to blend in,” he said. “You don’t look like a local.”

You looked down at your clothes. After Mark came to your house, you ran upstairs and got ready, putting on your best dress and slicking your hair back into a neat bun. It was true, you would stick out. Giving up, you reached back and grabbed a plain, forest green hoodie, shrugging it halfway down your body. Mark opened the door and you got out, feeling crabby.

“You look good.” he said.

Mark pulled the rest of the hoodie down your body with one tug, and gave a nod of appreciation. You wanted to ask why a hoodie made a difference, but you didn’t want to hear his spiel on how much smarter he was than you.

“Let’s just go.” you said.

As you made a step forward, a skateboarder flew by, nearly knocking you over. Mark grabbed you in time, pulling you back so you wouldn’t collide. You clutched a hand to your chest. Mark noticed the ring on your finger and swiped his thumb over it.

“Ah, the things we almost die for.” he said.

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

You ignored him and started walking, hugging your arms around your body. You had never been on Renjun’s campus before, not even to tour it. Everything looked much more expensive than your college, it’s buildings looking like they could devour yours. The air had a permanent smell of fresh cut lawns and fancy perfume. You walked up a few stone paths, reading signs that felt like they were leading you around in a circle.

“We’ll stop and ask someone.” Mark said.

“What if they bust us?” you asked, pulling him by his sleeve. “We’re not supposed to be here.”

“This school has thousands and thousands of kids, and you think they’ll take one look at us and know we go to a less prestigious school?” he asked.

“They will if they see your shitty car.”

“Funny,” he said. “I’ll ask someone.”

Mark tried stopping a group of boys, but one boy hit him with his shoulder and kept walking, and the rest of the group laughed. Every time he tried to stop another person, they practically ran away from him.

“Also,” he said. “My car is not shitty. She’s gotten me through some really rough spots in high school.”

“Maybe it’s the stench coming from you then.” you said.

“You’re seriously so mean to me.”

“Am not.”

Mark opened his mouth to argue, but a boy interrupted him. He was taller than you both by a good five inches, and the air he gave off was very authoritative. He reminded you of a scary professor, but he was much too young to be anything but a student. Mark, without thinking twice, grabbed your hand and held it. You tried worming your way out of his grip, but he crushed your fingers with his.

“Hello.” Mark said.

“Hi, friend,” the boy said. “Are you lost? Do you attend this school?”

“I do,” Mark said. “We do. Do you go here?”

“You do?” you asked, Mark.

“I do,” Mark said. “We do. Do do.”

“Okay,” the boy said. “I’m going to pretend I know what any of that means. Anyway, my name is Johnny Seo. I’m in my last year here, and I’m kind of a big deal. You may have heard of me.”

“No, sorry.” you said.

Johnny continued, “ I help freshmen find their life path, here at this establishment. Are you interested in finding your life path?”

“No, thank you,” you said, smiling sweetly. “We have somewhere to be, a different path.”

“Which is?” Johnny asked.

“Yes,” Mark said. “I would also like to know what path.”

You swung your arm forward to show Johnny your hand that was glued to Mark’s. Both Johnny and Mark were puzzled and trying to decipher what you meant.

“We’re going to suck each other's face off,” you said. “Because we’re dating. This is what boyfriend and girlfriend do, they hold hands and they suck face.”

“Suck face?” Mark asked. “What are you, from the 90′s?”

“Maybe.”

Mark rolled his eyes, which made you point dramatically at him. He let go of your hand and threw his arm around Johnny.

“We’re actually going to study,” Mark said. “Education is important to us, you see. Our life path is learning, Johnny. You may have heard of it.”

“Studying,” Johnny said. “Right. My program offers a great place for studying that makes everything stress free. If you just follow me, I can show you.”

“We have to go,” Mark said, removing his arm. “We have to go suck face.”

“What?” you asked.

Mark took your arm and started pulling you backwards. Johnny looked from him to you, his eyes narrowing when he locked eyes with you. Mark kept pulling until you started moving, and then you both broke out into a run, clearing a lot of distance between you and Johnny. Mark led you around another corner that brought you to a small building with darkened windows.

“He was suspicious.” Mark said.

“How? “

“I think it’s because of your hoodie.” Mark said.

You playfully pushed Mark. The laugh that escaped from his mouth made you feel a pang in your chest that passed as quickly as it had come. He leaned against a brick wall to catch his breath. You looked back around the corner to see Johnny trying to get other students on his life path.

“I’m not sure his life path didn’t include drugs.” Mark said.

“Likely,” you said. “But he might have been legit. Renjun told me that everyone where he lives is really normal.”

“And he lives where? How do you not know where he lives?” Mark asked. “He’s your best friend.”

“We never talked about it.”

“What do you talk about?”

You tried searching your brain for what you talked about over the phone, but you couldn’t come up with anything substantial. You figured he would have told you once or twice where exactly he lived, but Renjun mostly kept quiet when you talked. You always assumed it was because he wanted to get back to his friends instead of talking to you on a Saturday night.

“We always just talk about me.” you said.

“Interesting.”

“Why is that interesting?”

“Are you really that oblivious?” he asked. “Forget I said anything.”

You walked back to Mark and put your hands on your hips. You tried to seem threatening, like you would beat it out of him if he didn’t tell you, but your bravado faded as soon as he smiled.

“I can take it,” you said. “Tell me.”

“Fine. You only talk about yourself, “ he said. “I don’t mean to call you out, but it’s what I’ve noticed.”

“That’s not true.”

“You’re quick to defend yourself,” he said. “But you know I’m right. You don’t know where your best friend lives because all you talk about are your problems. Think about it. You inserted yourself into my life because of something you had a problem with. That doesn’t seem fair, does it?”

“That’s not-”

“-What do you know about me then?”

“You live with your parents.”

“And?”

“You drive.”

“You’re getting colder,” he said.

You looked down at the ground in shame. Hearing something truthful about yourself always hurts, especially when it comes from people you barely know. If they can see your flaws so easily, what else can the people who know you see, and better yet, why did they still stick around? Is that why your dad left? He saw the real you and figured out how much he didn’t need you in his life. You had a lot of deep-rooted issues you had yet to solve, and although you weren’t fully aware of what Mark said, he was right. Ever since you can remember, you’ve been so focused on yourself and losing who that person is, you’ve neglected everyone else.

“I’m sorry.” you said.

“You don’t have to apologize to me.”

“But I want to.”

“I didn’t mean for this to be…” he said. “I have issues too, okay. I live with my parents because I’m terrified of being on my own. I wrote my ex that letter that day because I didn’t want to face my own self. It’s a hard world out there, and we’re all just trying our best.”

You leaned against the wall with Mark. Your shoulder touched his, but there wasn’t anything intimate about it. He felt comfortable, safe.The two of you stayed like that for a little while until Mark peeled himself from the brick and held out his hand.

“Let’s go find him.” he said.

“He won’t want to see me.”

“We’re not doing the pity thing,” he said. “Let’s get it.”

When you didn’t immediately take his hand, Mark waved it about impatiently. You rolled your eyes, which you know he hated, and walked on without him. He followed behind, keeping his distance as you looked around at all of the buildings. You stopped someone for directions on your own. His name was Jeno, and he was very accommodating. He walked both you and Mark to the student dorms, which were massive buildings that felt more like a maze than living spaces.

‘“Thank you,” you told Jeno. When he left, you turned to Mark. “We’ll never find him in this place.”

“Maybe we can just call his name three times and he’ll poke his head out of one of these windows.” Mark said.

You sighed. “Nothing is ever easy, is it.”

“Wouldn’t be fun if it were,” Mark said. “Come on, we’ll just walk the floors until we find him, ask around, and maybe we’ll find him quicker than we think. You said he’s pretty popular, right?”

“He said he made a lot of friends.”

“Great,” Mark said. “Nothing better than two losers walking into a den of lions.”

You started walking forward and remembered that you had a phone in your pocket. Mark slapped his forehead and told you that you should have just texted him from the start.

You: Renjun, what floor do you live on?

Renjun: What? Why?

You: Don’t worry about it. Tell me what floor you live on.

Renjun: You’re not here, are you?

You: I’m home.

You: Junie, Are you there?

Renjun: Why do you need to know?

You: Why are you being so secretive?

Renjun: I’m not, liar.

You: Please, just tell me.

Renjun: No. Why don’t you tell me about the boy you’ve been hanging around with first.

You: Me? A boy? Renjun, I’m offended.

Renjun: I called your house. Your mom told me a boy came to pick you up. She said his name was Mark.

Renjun: Is Mark your new best friend?

Renjun: Is he handsome?

Renjun: Your mother likes him. I don’t know how I feel about that.

You showed the conversation to Mark. Mark squinted since he wasn’t wearing his glasses. He read to the very last text, and then looked back up at you.

“Are you going to answer him?” he asked.

“No,” you said. “This was supposed to be a surprise.”

“No, I mean, about if I’m handsome.”

You snatched the phone from Mark’s hand and looked back at the messages. It was normal for Renjun to question any new people in your life. You hadn’t mentioned Mark before, and like Mark had brought to your attention, all you ever did was talk about yourself.

You: He’s the ugliest boy I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

You: He stinks, too.

You: And he’s Canadian.

You made sure Mark saw what you wrote before you turned off your phone and put it back into your pocket. He didn’t give you a witty remark, just fixed the hat on his head and bent the brim a little.

“How did you know I’m Canadian?” he asked.

“Your notebook,” you said. “Mark Lee, contrary to belief, I know you better than you think I do.”

“Fuck, I forgot about that,” Mark said. “Not only are you selfish, but you’re nosy. I forgot to include that important point.”

“How can I be selfish and so concerned with others at the same time?” you asked. “Doesn’t that cancel each other out.”

“You’re an interesting person.”

“Glad you think so.”

“No, “ he said. “That isn’t what I meant.”

You entered the building. Mark kept talking and trailing behind you, his words spiraling out of control. You ignored him, looking at the nameplate on the doors you passed. Some of them were decorated with foam letters, the crooked names looking more like the door for a Kindergarten classroom that a dorm. Others had been tagged with permanent markers, with red solo cups taped to the wood. It was a male dorm, and it smelled just like it.

“I feel like I’m not supposed to be here.” you said.

“And you think you’re the first girl that’s walked through these halls?”

“I don’t want to think about it at all.”

The halls were mostly clear except for a few boys passing through, shower caddies or textbooks in their hands. No one looked at either of you as they walked by. It was as if the two of you didn’t exist, which was much different from the way Renjun had painted the people at his school to be. Over phone calls, he mentioned how everyone was friendly, and how the environment was welcoming, even introverts like him felt accepted.

“Elevator,” Mark said. His hand shot out, holding the big doors so they wouldn’t close. The muscles and veins in his arms popped out, giving you a full display of how built Mark really was. “What are you waiting for? Get in.”

You walked into the elevator. Mark slipped in, going immediately to the railing to hold on. You watched as his knuckles gripped the bar until they were white. He scrunched his face and closed his eyes. You hit the button for floor number 2, not tearing your eyes away from him.

“Are you okay, Mark?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

The elevator doors should have opened at 2, but they stayed closed. You realized that you had hit floor 12, instead. When Mark opened his eyes for a split second and noticed your blunder, he winced.

“I need you to do me a favor,” he said. “One favor. An exchange, really.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“I need you to hold me.”

“You need me to do what now?”

“Hold me,” he said. “ Please, hold me.”

You rushed Mark and took him in your arms. He leaned his forehead against your shoulder, tucking his face into your neck. You held him around his middle, your hands pressed against his back. His arms snaked around your body and pulled you tighter to him. You had never been that close to a boy in your life except for Renjun, but definitely never so close that you could feel every bit of his body against yours.

“Are you going to be okay?” you asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “I have childhood trauma from elevators.”

“Why did we get into one?” you asked. “I would have taken the stairs.”

“I did it for you.” he said.

You closed your eyes and buried your own face into Mark’s neck. As the elevator made it to floor 12, the doors opened, revealing Renjun.

“What the fuck?” Renjun said.

#mark lee #nct #nct 127 #mark lee fanfiction #nct fancfiction #renjun #jeno #johnny #mark fanfiction #mark fluff #mark angst #mark lee fluff #mark week

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ly-sona · 3 years ago

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[❀] ❝ issues 。lee haechan ❞

❀ pair: haechan x gn!reader ❀ tags: relationship drama ❀ au: established relationship, non-idol ❀ warnings: angst ❀ word count: 1,148 ❀ status: completed

even the most perfect couples can have the rarest of understanding issues—this was no different.

──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“I told you I don’t have a choice!” Haechan exclaimed, placing his things down on the kitchen countertop of their apartment.

“You always have a choice,” you rolled your eyes, sinking further into the couch in disappointment. “To think I could actually believe your words.”

Haechan was starting to get frustrated—annoyed at the situation he couldn’t control. Today was your three-year anniversary, and you were supposed to have the entire day together. But, Haechan had volunteered to fill in for his team last minute, canceling their plans.

To say you were disappointed was the least.

Usually, you would be understanding. You yourself had a cafe to run and were busy most days. It hurt you though. It hurt that you couldn’t spend such an important day with the one you loved most.

He was disappointed too. He hadn’t realized the day it landed on when he’d volunteered, and now there was no backing out. He was just wanting her to be a little more understanding of his side, but today wasn’t going well.

"I told you I didn’t know!”

“You always say that!”

“Well, what should I do?! Not go and get fired?!”

“This always happens! Can’t you be a little more careful?!”

“I can’t do anything here!” Haechan’s voice breaks at the end, the emotions flying out of him with that last line. The last thing he wanted to do was argue on your anniversary.

“Should I leave then?” you asked. Tears filled your eyes, but you immediately wiped them away. Instead, you opted to grab your bag anyway and walk to the front door.

Haechan immediately rushed over to you, gently placing his hand on your shoulder. “N/n, please…”

You quickly retracted from his touch, rushing over to the door.

“D-Don’t go.”

His voice cracked once again.

You almost paused, the tone of his voice causing you to waver in your footsteps. Instead, you shook your head.

“Don’t worry about me. Go to your damn meeting.”

──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

When Haechan got home, he had opened the door to an empty house. Everything was left exactly how he had it when he’d somberly walked out of your home.

Sighing, he placed his things down and sat on the couch, blankly staring into the distance.

He couldn’t stop thinking about this morning.

He’d texted you multiple times—called you even. Eventually, he realized you weren’t ready to talk yet and opted to ask your friends if you were at least alright.

He felt as though he was trapped—he knew he should’ve made sure before volunteering to fill in. But, it was too late. Now he sat here with the consequences of his actions.

You weren’t too far off—just a few apartments down in your best friend’s. You sat on the bed, thousands of thoughts rushing through your head as what happened earlier came back.

I shouldn’t have done that.

He wasn’t in the wrong—you realized that. You were so caught up in your emotions that you burst out at him, something that was extremely unnecessary. You shouldn’t have walked out on him. Now, you were too afraid to go back and face everything.

I need to go apologize.

──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

After an hour of wallowing in your emotions, you forced yourself to stand up, almost stumbling over your feet. Your hands traced over the harsh wood of the door before your palms wrapped themselves around the metal doorknob. Despite the chilling touch of metal, you didn’t flinch.

No, you were too focused on your destination to care.

Each step seemed daunting. Each moment that passed seemed to suffocate you more. The feeling of guilt and regret washed over you again and again in a never-ending cycle, lulling you to apologize.

Soon, your footsteps slowed and you found yourself in front of the door to home.

Home sweet home.

What have I done?

Using the spare key firmly fit within your left palm, you attempted to unlock the door. Your hands trembled as they twisted the key. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears as you tried to listen for the noise that signified the unlocked door.

Click!

Soon, you found yourself walking inside almost soundlessly. Your eyes glanced across the apartment.

Everything seemed to be exactly how you’d left it—as if time froze after their argument. You had hoped to see some sign of life, some sign that Haechan was even remotely okay.

He didn’t leave, did he?

Uneasy, you walked toward the bedroom, your feet unconsciously dragging you. Soon, you found your palms twisting the bedroom doorknob open gingerly.

When you opened the door, however, the sight in front of you broke your heart.

Sound asleep on the floor of your bedroom was Haechan, uncomfortably situated and turning often in his sleep. He was still dressed in the formal clothes he’d worn to work, not even having removed his watch.

You quickly ran over to him, placing your hand on his arm as you looked at his. The slightest tear stains surrounded the outlines of his eyes—signifying that he’d cried.

He cried. He never cries.

Unknowingly, your mere presence had brought him out of his disturbed slumber, and he slowly blinked as his eyes met yours.

“Y-Y/n?” his voice croaked out as he slowly awoke.

You quickly nodded your head before looking down at your hands, fidgeting. You didn’t think he would accept the apology. Hell, you basically ruined your third anniversary with your petty, selfish thoughts. He had no reason to accept.

“H-Haechan,” you breathed out, already tearing up before you could apologize in full. “I-I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault, I promise.”

Haechan looked up at you, barely responding for a minute as he tried to take your words in. His face was blank as he hadn’t properly woken up yet, and his eyes were faded and distant.

You let out a sigh, realizing that there was no use. It wasn’t a miraculous fix—you thought you needed to apologize to him with much more sincerity, even if this was already utmost.

Just as you turned to move away, you were pushed into a bone-crushing hug and warmth surrounded you. Haechan quickly wrapped his arms around you, refusing to let go.

“I’m sorry too,” he started, taking in a deep breath. “I should’ve paid more attention and told you beforehand.”

His voice instantly caused you to break into tears once again as you quickly hugged him back, burying your face in his shoulders to muffle your tears. Hearing your sobs broke his heart, and he immediately teared up as well. He comfortingly rubbed your back with his left hand, trying to reassure you that everything was okay.

“I-I’m sorry,” you hiccuped, pulling back slightly to look him in the eyes. “I love you.”

Haechan shook his head, leaning in to press a comforting kiss on your lips, short and full of sincere emotions.

“I love you too.”

unedited

completed: 11/20/21

a/n: hehe i wrote this for 400 followers on wattpad! its my first nct one-shot so enjoy :D

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